


Crying in the Club

by slyther_ing



Series: The Fault in our Chat Logs [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bachelor Party shenanigans, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor, Social Media, Team as Family, short bc im stretching the humor tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:12:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19262023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyther_ing/pseuds/slyther_ing
Summary: Higgs: they keep giggling. they’re so in love. and happy. It’s like a hallmark commercial in here.Higgs: I, personally, am disgusted.





	Crying in the Club

**Author's Note:**

> the shining return of chatfic!!

**Fred** created a group chat

**Fred** named the group chat  _ they grow up so fast :’) _

**Fred:** ALRIGHT TEAM

**Fred:** what are we sending Oliver away w/ at the wedding on Saturday??

**Katie:** i’m pretty sure if we attempt a prank he will cut off our heads

**George:** katie dear, i’m hurt u think so lowly of us

**Fred:** as if we would only ever achieve an “attempt”

**Harry:** please do NOT unleash your newest breed of pygmy puffs

**Alicia:** ooh they looked super cute tho!!

**Harry:** they are but bloody hell at what cost

**Fred:** no but in all seriousness

**Angelina** : sounds fake

**Fred** : Angie pls - IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, let’s do something/put a gift together that will make Wood cry

**Katie** : ...

**Alicia** : ....

**Angelina:** in a good way?

**George:** obviously, what do you all take us for?

**Harry:** a plague on my peace

**Fred** : geez u defeat one (1) dark lord and suddenly u turn into an old geezer

 

**George** started a private chat

**Percy:** No, you are not allowed to enchant a flock of flying dicks at Oliver’s bachelor party.

**George:** aw Perce

**Percy** : well.

**Percy:** maybe one.

**George:** AW YEA PERCE

 

**Angelina** sent a link to  _ they grow up so fast :’) _

**Angelina:** his & his customized quidditch gear??

**George:** honestly wouldn’t be surprised if half the wedding party gifted them that

**Angelina** : ugh ur right

 

**Fred** sent an image to  _ they grow up so fast :’) _

**Fred:** his & his customized cock rings

**Katie:** pasdfjsalfajfl fred pls

**Alicia:** i would like to live past the ceremony, thank u

**Harry:** i mean sure if we wanted to get our cardio in

**Harry:** running from Flint’s rage, yaknow

 

**Harry** sent a link to  _ they grow up so fast :’) _

**Harry:** :)

**George:** this is just a video compilation of Wood yelling at me and Fred at practice wtf

**Angelina:** this is a masterpiece

**Harry:** thanks

**Harry:** Ron and I spent 5 hrs on this when we should have been making dinner

**Harry:** we’re quite proud

 

**Alicia** sent a link to  _ they grow up so fast :’) _

**Alicia:** what if!! we did this???

**Katie:** !!! YES

**Katie:** BABE UR A GENIUS

**Angelina:** oh my god that’s brilliant he’s gnna sob his heart out

**Fred:** ALICIA YOU STAR

**George:** aight aight everyone chip in by - tomorrow night? Let’s do this SHIT Let’s make him CRY

**Harry:** honestly if anyone else read these chats they would probably be slightly concerned for Wood’s well being

 

**Oliver** created a group chat

**Oliver** named the group  _ batchelor parrty shan anigans _

**Oliver:** hello alll plaese comme right now!! See everyne soonnn!!! 

**Angelina:** how are u already drunk it is 8pm im cackling

**Percy:** I told him to take it slow, and then he said “I do what I want” and pounded down five tequila shots in one go

**Fred** : MY MAN

**Oliver:** I LVOE U ALL

**Oliver:** percy were diii d u go

**Oliver:** percy??????????

**Oliver:** omygod I lsot percy

**Harry:** @Oliver nah he’s right here by the door w/ me and Alicia

 

**Percy** entered a private chat

**Percy:** how’s yours?

**Higgs:** Flint is dancing with a bottle of vodka right now, wbu?

**Percy:** oh Oliver is singing very loudly and (I’m assuming) off-key

**Percy:** I have ear plugs in

**Higgs:** damn, i should’ve thought of that

 

**Angelina** sent an image to  _ batchelor parrty shan anigans _

**Angelina:** the cake is hereeeeeeeee

**George:** bloody hell that is a giant quaffle cake

**Alicia:** someone pls shove his face in it pls pls pls

 

**Oliver** entered a private chat

**Oliver:** I lvoe u so much i am so so so oooo glad weare getting married 

**Flint:** I LOVE YOU TOO

**Oliver:** why are yuo yellin at me???

**Flint:** IM NOT I CANT TURN OFF CAPS LOCK

 

**Katie** sent an image to  _ batchelor parrty shan anigans _

**Katie:** holy shit @Fred @George EXPLAIN

**Alicia:** HAHAHAHA FRICK

**Oliver:** is tht a FLYING DICK????

 

*******

 

**Oliver** entered a private chat

**Oliver:** death

**Percy:** there’s hangover potion on your right bedside cabinet

**Oliver:** what would i do without you tbh

 

**Oliver** entered a private chat

**Oliver:** hello love i heard you retching 

**Flint:** yknow how i said i loved vodka last night?

**Flint:** i take it back

**Flint** : fuck vodka.

**Flint:** fuck it in the ass.

 

**Fred** sent a sticker to  _ they grow up so fast :’) _

**Fred:** holy shit the opulence of this wedding

**Fred:** sometimes i forget that the flints are Loaded™

**Fred:**  and then i see diamond encrusted string lights and remember 

**Angelina:** idc about those but that chocolate fountain by the banquet is calling my name

**Angelina:** also where is Alicia i haven’t seen her in a hot sec

**Katie:** er

**Katie:** lets just say tequila does not sit well in her stomach

 

**George** entered  _ they grow up so fast :’) _

**George:** is anyone else crying in the club rn

**Angelina:** who knew they were such softies

**Alicia:** IM SOBBING

**Alicia:** wow my mascara is truly unsalvageable i give up

**Angelina** : ‘love of my life’ my poor heart, damn Flint u go Flint

**Angelina:** if my own wedding vows arent like this i dont want them

**Harry:** agree with everything but maybe we shouldnt be texting rn

**George:** oliver will find it in himself to forgive us

 

**Oliver** created a group chat

**Oliver** named the group chat  _ sentimental losers _

**Oliver** sent an image to  _ sentimental losers _

**Oliver:** the wedding photographer managed to catch u all weeping like little babies during the vows

**George:** i would be insulted except for the fact that 

**George** sent an image to  _ sentimental losers _

**George:** you win the award for Ugliest Crier as usual

**Katie:** wow im putting that face on a tshirt and selling it, id make a fortune

**Oliver:** this is a blatant attack. where is the RESPECT

**Fred:** awww cap you know you love us :* :*

 

**Percy** created a group chat

**Percy** named the group chat  _ key players gone AWOL _

**Percy:** excuse me, where are you all

**Percy:** im not good at stalling the crowd and they’re waiting for you happy husbands to start the reception

**Higgs:** Wood is trying to stop crying right now in the bathroom 

**Higgs:** Flint is also trying to pull himself together 

**Higgs:** they keep giggling. they’re so in love. and happy. It’s like a hallmark commercial in here.

**Higgs:** I, personally, am disgusted.

 

**Harry** sent an image to  _ sentimental losers _

**Harry:** ah the crying saga continues

**Oliver:** look….

**Oliver:** you guys made a photo album of our Hogwarts days and hand wrote the most touching messages

**Oliver:** and you expect me not to be emotional? Impossible. You did this blatantly to make me weep.

**Oliver:** THANK YOU

**Katie:** CONGRATS OLLIE

**Alicia:** WE LOVE U OLLIE

**Angelina** : BEST OF LOVE OLLIE

**George:** WE’RE SO HAPPY FOR YA OLLIE

**Fred** : IF IT DOESN’T WORK OUT W FLINT IM HERE OLLIE

**Harry:** ^one of those was not like the rest

**Fred:** @Harry just because Wood is now a married man doesn’t mean i’ll stop shooting my shot

**Author's Note:**

> there's one more in the works bc i keep lying about ending it; they're just - so fun. To write.


End file.
